THE LIFEREPS CONVERSATION GUIDE

What a great conversation sounds like.

Six moves that work with teachers, coaches, stores, doctors' offices, and pretty much anyone.

See the six moves ↓

You don't need perfect words.

Pauses, "um," and nerves are normal. Clear beats fancy.

Great doesn't mean you always get a yes.

A conversation went well when everyone knows what happens next, even if the answer was no.

Your side is yours to drive.

Say what you need. Don't wait for the other person to guess.

Example: booking a haircut

Every move, in one short call

My three: a trim · this weekend · how much?

Sharp Cuts, this is Riley!
2
Hi! I'm calling to book a haircut.
Sure. What are you looking for?
3
Just a trim, this Saturday if you can.
Saturday's full, sorry.
5
Oh. Is there anything on Sunday?
Sunday at 10 is open.
4
Sunday at 10 works. How much is a trim?
$28, and that includes a wash.
6
Great. Sunday at 10, a trim, $28. Thanks!

1Know your three2Say why3Details4Listen5Ask again6Wrap up

MOVE 1 · BEFORE YOU START

Sets up every skill

Know your three

Before you talk, know three things: what's going on, what they need to hear, and what you want to walk away with.

Why it works: When you know your goal, it's much harder to freeze or forget the important part.

TRY THINKING

The problem is .
They need to know .
I'll be happy if I leave with .

Trap to avoid: Writing a whole script. You'll sound stiff and lose your place if they say something unexpected. Plan the three things, not the words.

MOVE 2 · THE OPENING

Initiative · starting the conversation yourself

Say why you're here

Say hello, then say what you need in your first sentence or two.

Why it works: People can help faster when they know why you came. Making them guess turns into an awkward guessing game.

TRY SAYING

Hi, I'm calling about .
Hi, do you have a minute? I have a question about .
Hi, I need help with .

Trap to avoid: "Um, never mind" or "It's nothing." If it was worth bringing up, it's worth saying.

MOVE 3 · THE MIDDLE

Clarity & Relevant Info · saying what you need, with the details that matter

Give the details that matter

Share the what, when and which they'll need, in plain words.

Why it works: The right details let them actually fix it. Missing ones mean lots of back-and-forth, or the wrong answer.

TRY SAYING

It's the from .
Here's what happened: .
What I need is .

Trap to avoid: Telling the whole story from the very beginning, or skipping the one detail they need, like the date, the item or the question number. Ask yourself: if I were them, what would I need to know?

MOVE 4 · THE BACK-AND-FORTH

Listening & Responding · hearing what they said and answering it

Listen, then answer what they said

When they ask something or offer something, respond to that before going back to your point.

Why it works: It shows you heard them, and it moves the conversation forward instead of in circles.

TRY SAYING

Okay, so ?
Thursday works. What time?
Sorry, could you say that again?

Trap to avoid: Repeating your same sentence after they've already answered, or saying "okay" when you didn't actually understand. Asking them to repeat is a strong move, not a weak one.

MOVE 5 · IF YOU HIT A BUMP

Self-Advocacy & Persistence · speaking up and not giving up after a no

If it's a no, ask again kindly

If the first answer doesn't solve it, stay calm, say why it matters to you, and ask about another option.

Why it works: First answers aren't always final. Kind, calm persistence often finds a solution. When the no really is final, you can still leave with something useful.

TRY SAYING

I understand. Is there another option?
That makes sense. Could I instead?
What could I do to next time?

Trap to avoid: Giving up at the first no ("okay, bye"), or pushing so hard it turns into arguing. Ask kindly once or twice. If the answer stays the same, switch to what you can do next.

MOVE 6 · THE ENDING

Closure · ending with a clear next step

Wrap it up out loud

Before you go, say back what happens next, then thank them.

Why it works: Saying the plan back catches mix-ups and makes sure you both agree. Ten seconds now can save a second conversation.

TRY SAYING

So I'll by . Is that right?
Just to check, ?
Thanks for your help!

Trap to avoid: Leaving the second you hear an answer, before you know what happens next.

AFTERWARD

How to tell it went great.

Use it after a practice Rep, or after the real thing.

They knew why you were there right away.
They had the details they needed.
You answered what they actually said.
If you got a no, you asked once more, kindly.
You both know what happens next.

USING THIS TOGETHER

For families.

Let them go first.

If your kid gets stuck, wait a few seconds before helping. Practice is the point.

Praise the move, not the result.

"You said exactly what you needed" beats "You got it!"

Pick one move at a time.

The feedback after each Rep suggests one thing to practice next. That's the one to watch for this week.

Ask about real life.

After a real conversation, ask: "What happens next?" If they know, the conversation worked.

The printable one-pager

Fridge, backpack or binder. Prints on one Letter page.

LifeReps

What a great conversation sounds like

Six moves that work with teachers, coaches, stores, doctors' offices, and pretty much anyone.

Know your three

Sets up every skill

Know what’s going on, what they need to hear, and what you want to leave with.

I'll be happy if I leave with .

Avoid: writing a whole script.

Say why you're here

Initiative · starting the conversation yourself

Say hello, then what you need, right away.

Hi, I'm calling about .

Avoid: "Um, never mind."

Give the details that matter

Clarity & Relevant Info · saying what you need, with the details that matter

Share the what, when and which they'll need.

What I need is .

Avoid: skipping the one detail they need.

Listen, then answer what they said

Listening & Responding · hearing what they said and answering it

Answer what they said before going back to your point.

Sorry, could you say that again?

Avoid: repeating yourself after they answered.

If it's a no, ask again kindly

Self-Advocacy & Persistence · speaking up and not giving up after a no

Stay calm, say why it matters, ask about another option.

I understand. Is there another option?

Avoid: giving up at the first no, or arguing.

Wrap it up out loud

Closure · ending with a clear next step

Say back what happens next, then thank them.

So I'll by . Is that right?

Avoid: leaving before you know what happens next.

LifeReps

What a great conversation sounds like

Six moves that work with teachers, coaches, stores, doctors' offices, and pretty much anyone.

Know your three

Sets up every skill

Know what’s going on, what they need to hear, and what you want to leave with.

I'll be happy if I leave with .

Avoid: writing a whole script.

Say why you're here

Initiative · starting the conversation yourself

Say hello, then what you need, right away.

Hi, I'm calling about .

Avoid: "Um, never mind."

Give the details that matter

Clarity & Relevant Info · saying what you need, with the details that matter

Share the what, when and which they'll need.

What I need is .

Avoid: skipping the one detail they need.

Listen, then answer what they said

Listening & Responding · hearing what they said and answering it

Answer what they said before going back to your point.

Sorry, could you say that again?

Avoid: repeating yourself after they answered.

If it's a no, ask again kindly

Self-Advocacy & Persistence · speaking up and not giving up after a no

Stay calm, say why it matters, ask about another option.

I understand. Is there another option?

Avoid: giving up at the first no, or arguing.

Wrap it up out loud

Closure · ending with a clear next step

Say back what happens next, then thank them.

So I'll by . Is that right?

Avoid: leaving before you know what happens next.